Sorry

I’m sorry because I find it difficult to accept you as you are. I find your dreams and hopes to be a little absurd and bizarre sometimes. I want to change you into the person that I want you to be. I want to save you from yourself. I want you to love me unconditionally but I need to learn to love you the same way. I do love you. Love isn’t the problem. The problem is I’m too concerned about what other people say and think about you. I love you as you are but I’m easily embarrassed because you’re not afraid to be yourself and people don’t understand your nature. Are you crazy? I don’t know. Maybe you are but I love it! I love talking to you. I love listening to you talk. I love hearing you sing but I hate when you try to rap. You absolutely are a terrible rapper! But I love you anyway.
I’m missing you. I’ve been missing you for awhile since you left out on your own. Now that I have no way to see you or hear your voice I’m missing you even more. I lie to everyone and pretend I’m glad that you’re gone but inside I’m crying and screaming because you wouldn’t listen to me. And now it’s too late because you’ve gotten yourself locked up. I worry about you. Whats going to happen now that you’re away? How long will you be gone? Will you still love me while you’re there? Do you still love me? Do you miss me? Will you be happy when you get my letter? Should I prepare my heart to let go once and for all? Am I crazy for loving you when we have been through so much and you even told me that you’re in love with someone else? Probably. That’s why I will not tell anyone my real feelings because I don’t want to make a fool of myself…again. I don’t want you to go through this time alone though. Nobody should ever face jail time alone. I remember what got told me about the last time you had to go to jail for an extended amount of time worth nobody on the outside to help you or write you. I won’t do that to you unless you tell me to leave you alone.
I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. shannaejones says:

    I’ve been going through a couple of your post on your blog and it is very helpful 👭

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kissing Fish says:

      What has been helpful to you if you don’t mind me asking.

      Like

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