I can feel the beginnings of a fibromyalgia flare up, a.k.a a pain storm. I woke up feeling like I had had absolutely no sleep and my muscles were as tight as a drum. I stumbled my way into the bathroom as if I were drunk. My sinuses were stuffy and my mouth was dry as the Sahara desert. Once I finally reached the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee I felt like I had just finished running the Boston Marathon. I was out of breath and I’ll be damned if I didn’t forget what the hell I was in the kitchen suppose to be doing. I stood at the sink for probably five minutes before the big ‘Ah hah!’ moment hit me that I was attempting to make a cup of coffee. After I fixed the water I remembered that I had to use the bathroom so I lumber back down the hallway to the bathroom. By the time I sit I am so tired that I just rest there until I could muster up the strength do what I needed to do, wash my hands and then to make it back to the kitchen.
I finally managed to get a cup of coffee and go to the living room and I sink onto the sofa in front of my laptop and slowly sip from my mug. Kim comes into the living room shortly afterwards and I honestly can’t remember what our conversation was about. My daughter Lizzie comes in and tells me that she forgot that she had baseball practice at the school at 9 o’clock. It’s 9:10 when she informs me of this. I sigh and rest my head on the back of the sofa for a minute and then I continue to nurse my coffee.
Around 9:50 Lizzie ambles back into the living room and plops in front of me and asks me to give her two french braids. I comply and my hands immediately begin to ache…but I manage to finish the task at hand. My legs have begun to get pins and needles sensations from perching on the end of the sofa braiding her hair so I have to stand to get the blood flowing back into my limbs.
Although we are running quite late we manage to get out the door, down the stairs and out to the car to drive up to the high school. After I drop her off I remember that I was suppose to drop off her prescription at the pharmacy but by the time I remember it’s too late and I’ve already driven past the pharmacy and am pulling back into our apartment complex. I’m exhausted. I slowly climb my way back up the stairs to our second story apartment and sit back down on the sofa.
My body is aching so bad. My lower back is throbbing. My thighs and calf muscles are so tight that I walk with a shuffle because I can barely pick up my feet. My shoulders feel as if they are on fire and my neck is so tense I can feel it beginning to constrict my throat. I try to relax and I take a handful of prescription pills and pray that they will hurry and begin to work.
I spend all morning and afternoon on the sofa. I’m too tired and stiff to cook so I nibble until Kim makes us lunch. By then it’s time for me to go and pick the child up from practice. This time I remember to take her prescription to the pharmacy. I pick her up and before I can reach home I get a call that we’re out of ketchup so I stop at the general store and hobble in and out with my purchase as quickly as I can. My entire body is starting to go taut and the pain is ever increasing. I can barely press the gas pedal and the brakes because my legs are in so much pain.
Once I reach back home again I take a muscle relaxer and a pain pill. I go back to the sofa and there I remain for the rest of the day. I refuse to go to bed because I know that once I lie down I probably won’t be able to get back up. I don’t want to seem weak or dependent on my girlfriend and my daughter. I tough it out. I take more pills as I need to and I wait for the pain storm to pass over.
Now it’s almost 10 o’clock at night and I’m still in front of my laptop and sitting on the sofa. I’ve gone from sitting, to lying on the sofa, and back to sitting all day long. I can barely wait until Kim comes home from work so I can finally go to bed. Just lying next to her and letting her hold me feels better than a heating pad and pills combined. Somehow just having her next to me is comforting and I fall asleep effortlessly. Until I remain parked on the sofa nodding off every now and then. That’s fibromyalgia for ya!