I never thought that I would see the day when my happy little bubbly world that I called my life would come crashing in around me so rapidly.  It’s seems to be falling apart faster than when the space shuttle Challenger went ka-boom!  One day I was married, maybe not always happily, but I was married none-the-less. The next thing I know here we are haranguing before the judge hoping that this divorce ends as rapidly as the marriage started.

I try to remain civil but sometimes I wish it that the law would allow me to literally throw people under a fast-moving freight train. Since no court will ever approve of that I guess I will have to remain steadfast and wait for this hurricane to eventually blow over.  Some days it seems as if I’m just an innocent bystander watching some poor, pitiful woman going through misery and heartache and I feel so sorry for her.  The I take a good look in the mirror and see that yes, indeed it is me.  I am that poor, pitiful looking woman.  That’s when I try to fortify myself with scripture and good preaching to help me lift my head up and throw my shoulders back and march on like a good soldier.  It’s not always easy but I refuse to bow down in defeat.

It’s time for some changes.  I am determined to get back up and make some big time changes in my life.  I know that with God I can do all things because He gives me strength.  He’s the Rock on which I stand.  I’ve got victory over the enemy and the world (and my soon to be Ex) can’t do me any harm!!!  Praise God!

I’m starting right here right now with those changes.  I will not stand and face that looking-glass and nit pick over the flaws that I think I see.  I will see myself for who I really am-a child of the King!  I will love myself because God loves me.  If He can love me, who am I to not love myself?  He made me in His image therefore I am beautiful!  I will hold my head up high and give thanks for all the Lord Almighty has brought me through!  I may not see it now but I have the victory. I am not a victim but a VICTOR!

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Never again-Nickelback

He’s drunk again, it’s time to fight
She must have done something wrong tonight,
The living room becomes a boxing ring
It’s time to run when you see him clenching his hands,
She’s just a woman… Never again

I hear her scream from down the hall,
Amazing she can even talk at all,
She cries to me… “go back to bed,”
I’m terrified that she’ll wind up dead in his hands,
She’s just a woman… Never again

Been there before but not like this,
Seen it before but not like this,
Never before have I ever seen it this bad,
She’s just a woman… Never again

Just tell the nurse you slipped and fell,
It starts to sting as it starts to swell,
She looks at you… she wants the truth,
It’s right out there in the waiting room with those hands,
Lookin’ just as sweet as he can… Never again

Seen it before but not like this,
Been there before but not like this,
Never before have I ever seen it this bad,
She’s just a woman… Never again… Never again…

Father’s a name you haven’t earned yet,
You’re just a child with a temper,
Haven’t you heard “don’t hit a lady,”
Kickin’ your ass would be a pleasure oh ohhhh…

He’s drunk again, it’s time to fight,
Same old shit, just on a different night,
She grabs the gun, she’s had enough,
Tonight she’ll find out how fuckin tough is this man,
Pulls the trigger fast as she can… Never again

Seen it before but not like this,
Been there before but not like this,
Never before have I ever seen it this bad,
She’s just a woman… Never again

Seen it before but not like this,
Been there before but not like this,
Never before have I ever seen it this bad,
She’s just a woman… Never again… Never again…
Never again… Never again..
Lyrics from

Finding Purpose in the Pain


Beautifully and well written…

Originally posted on One White Tree:

gloryGod’s Word tells me clearly that ONLY God should be seated on the throne of my heart.

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.’ ” Luke 4:8 NIV

I have to remove those things that seem GOOD to me, but have taken God’s place. For each of us, this would mean different things; but for me, it means removing the idols of pleasure, comfort, indulgence, convenience, possessions, popularity, power, prestige, even the cultural idols I love, such as music, art, architecture, technology…

Not that these are evil in and of themselves, because they are not; but when I allow them to take precedence over my allegiance and service to Him, then they have usurped His place in my heart.

View original 1,279 more words

Don’t take away my joy

I’m starting to fall in love with my unborn grandchild but the mother wants to have an abortion. My heart is absolutely crushed at the thought of losing this child. Though the circumstances in which the child was conceived weren’t planned God doesn’t make mistakes.
I’m praying that God will intervene and save my grandchild.

And here we go again…

IMG_20121223_165943In August of 2012 I left my husband.  We were separated for almost seven months.  During our time apart many things happened and changes took place.  We had a lot of ups and a lot of downs but through it all I tried to hold fast to my faith and trust in God to work things out for us.  I went to counseling and leaned heavily on the support of my family and friends.

Mike and I slowly began to rebuild our relationship.  We sought after Christ together and prayed together.  We prayed when we were apart.  Sometimes he had to pray for me.  Sometimes I had to pray for him.  Just when I thought all was lost God brought us back together.

On March 1, 2013 we merged our homes and hearts again as one family.  Things are not perfect but I know that with God all things are possible if we just believe Him.  I’ve learned that God is faithful always even when we fail Him, He never fails us!